Storm Healing

daily haiku

a year of anguish
healing takes place in my heart
with mending the roof

A year ago today Peter died in the early morning hours alone. I have berated myself so much that I was not with him; have reached some healing with it, but it is a regret I'll always carry. I am comforted that my last words to him were "I love you".

We cannot know when we will lose someone, it is totally beyond our control and I certainly have to accept that. Gradually I am emerging as a new person, on my own and no longer a part of a life partnership. New partners have emerged over the past year in the form of my lovely family members, special friends and so many wonderful people and friends from my writer's groups: WyoPoets http://www.wyopoets.com/ and Wyoming Writers Inc http://www.wyowriters.org/ and the Sheridan Senior Center Writer's Group. A few members of them have access to my blog here. I want you all to know how much your cards, letters, e-mails and phone calls have meant to me over this year; you have collectively buoyed my spirits through the dark days and I am so very grateful, I love all of you in a very special way.

On July 21st last year Birney witnessed the most appalling storm any of us have ever seen - close to a tornado, probably a micro burst. It did a lot of damage to the house and garage (see blog for July 21, 2010) I am thankful to my friends Nancy, Midge & Art who advised I should get an adjuster in to look at the damage. I would not have thought of this myself. Through their caring I received compensation from insurance and this last week the roof is being replaced at last; almost a year later.

The new roof is in many ways a metaphor for the person I have become. I was shattered when I lost Peter, but have healed this past year as I have solved the myriad of problems that have cropped up each month. In effect parts of me have been torn off and re-shingled with stronger materials. The new shingles have a 50 year warranty - I don't think I have the same! But my family and friendships help me feel like I do.