The Big Melt

daily haiku

late january

sun rises and stays all day

I see earth once more

Three days of sunshine - my body and mind begin to relax. All those grey days seem to leech all the energy out of my soul and I can understand those who suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) The light has changed, how, I can't discern. I just know that it registered a change in my brain at a subtle level and it feels good.

55° today and at last the path to the house thawed. I was able to get to the log pile without worrying about falling and dying in a snow bank. I brought up smaller logs to the back door that I use to start the evening fire and restacked the pile ready for probable snow this weekend.

Before the snow thawed, my emotions thawed and the pain came flooding in again. While I know the grief process pretty well, it doesn't stop the shock and surprise when I enter a new phase; but knowing assures me it will gradually end. With that knowledge comes ambivalence. I don't want to lose the connection to Peter that the pain gives me. However since I don't have the choice I'll take it a day at a time, the way that it comes, and be thankful for all the wonderful memories that cause it.

Winter Storms

daily haiku

freezing rain
the bird feeder
abandoned

The photo of the deer (above) is one of my favorite winter pictures. It is so gentle, so interested and seems to be almost posing for the camera.

A very wintry day today, and strange. It began with freezing rain; got warmer and moved to rain, then later to sleet, snow, and right now, a blustery nothing. The grey of evening has settled in and the village below no longer visible except for two security lamps that cut the gloom with their orange glow, one at the school and the other at the Post Office. Temperatures are supposed to plunge for the foreseeable future and it is easy to feel trapped inside and climb the walls.

Staying in the moment, and the day, is the only survival strategy. Finding things to do that I enjoy, including talking with friends and family. The internet is a godsend, I don't know how the pioneers did without it!

Here is a poem to be published in the next issue of Harp Strings Poetry Journal, that I wrote a few years ago:

cabin fever and the internet

snow
and gray days
twenty below and more
cold cabin walls
suck every ounce
of heat from your body

cat lies under
the baseboard heater
listens to the constant
scream
of bird-fights
at the feeder

e-mails
connect us
to the outside world
are like conversations
with friends
a comfort
in the long hours
of sub-zero days

First Blog of 2011

daily haiku

ice crystals
at seventeen below
a silver miracle

Happy New Year 2011 to all my family and friends.